A New Hope

Ello, what’s shaking peeps?

So a rather beautiful thing happened tonight in my normally not worthy to blog about life. Now don't get too excited, its not like a new Londis opened or anything, that was last week but this is rather lovely. I was strolling around my local Xtravision (the main video store chain in Ireland for any out of towners) and I was doing my normal thing of weighing up should I rent this movie again and slightly wishing I had a girl to rent the many romcoms that I not so secretly really want to watch. At this point I seen a very small boy run in the door of said video hangout followed by his father, a very young man himself who could not have been more than a couple of years older than me. The father rather naturally joined me looking at the new releases while his son went exploring and then bang, the tsunami of adorable hit. The wee boy runs up to his father clutching a DVD shouting 'Star Wars! Star Wars' and sure enough the lad was holding a copy of Return of the Jedi. The father seemed quite shocked by this having to ask a couple of times 'You want to watch Star Wars yeah?' but did not mess around, he ran up the counter before the child had to chance to find 'Max 10' on DVD (I think that’s what the kids are into these days..).
Though what made this nearly bring a tear to my eye? For the main part it was the look on the fathers face as knew he was about to partake in what surely must be the main reason to have kids, to show them a Star Wars movie for the first time. Obviously there are other reasons such as carrying on the human race and the chance to a raise a child that uses the term 'Cunt Muscle' as a term of endearment, but showing Star Wars to your kids must rank among them. Now a vital thing to remember when first showing a Star Wars movie to your kid is that order is not important. That may seem like crazy talk and I'm sure a number of you are right now digging through your toilets to find some excrement just to throw at me, but claim down shit hands. The reason why it isn't vital to show them in order is because its all about the feeling of the Star Wars universe. It doesn't matter if your young tiny brain first sees Han saving Luke in the Death Star Trench Run or Han saying 'I know' in Empire, all that matters is that you seen Han be the coolest guy in the entire universe. I for example seen Empire first on a recorded BetaMax tape brought over by my older cousin and I still remember like it was yesterday, including playing out my favourite parts with Gi Joe toys right after. So I can only hope that in five, ten or twenty years time my own child will ask 'Daddy, why do you have toys in your bedroom' and I will get a chance to say 'That’s because of Star Wars shit covered porta-potty at Electric Picnic' ..Yes I am going to go down the Posh Spice route and name the child where it was conceived, well that or Chewie.

Return of the Mac, here we go.

Ello,
So I realize that I have treated this blog horribly. I pick it up, use it when I want and then disappear, I'm like the blogging version of John Leslie, there's an obscure reference for you. So now I turn over a new leaf, I will get this blog into the leagues of the big time bloggers. My ambition is to see it at number thirty some day in the top thirty blog chart, ironically that position is currently filled by the "Dumb Little Man" blog that aims to provide the modern man with advice. Though the problem with this blog is that surely the advice given will come into conflict. For example two popular sections on the site are 'How to have the greatest day of your life' and 'How to get yourself out of debt', surely though you can't do both, Coke and ladyboy whores are not cheap you know?

So now that I find myself, sitting and typing at my computer I may finally go ahead and finish my C.V. , but its bloody hard. The hardest part comes not from making up the details, because to be fair I did do most of them, its just the extent of what I did, may have been altered. Not huge stuff, just saying '" I would go to this pub if I were you" becomes promotional work and hooking up with unattractive women becomes charity work. Everybody wins.

Right, hope your well, I will try to keep this up purely for my sense of self worth but right now I'm off to do one of things that 'Dumb Little Man' suggests I do to have the greatest day of my life. I'm torn between 'Be god like' and 'Have a relationship with yourself'. To be honest I'm gonna take the easier path here because the latter I can knock out on the jax right now in two to three minutes.

A theme emerges.

Ello, how is everyone?

I find myself returning to blog as a way of avoiding work, hence the emerging theme. The work that has been left behind quicker than my future off spring in first class this time is that of revising Freud. Now being a psychology student I have read Freud for going on four years now and do rather like the guy. Well I say like, reading Freud for me is kinda like talking to your granddad just before the end where you'll listen and smile at his stories but take the piss out of him behind his back to your friends (and or his nurses) at the pub. However tonight my mind can not get into the bearded one. I have no idea why, perhaps the call of YouTube videos is too hard to pass up on or because I can play some Columbian on Mario Kart Wii (kicked his ass by the way) , though more likely because something else is amiss.

Perhaps I need to look at the teaching of Freud to find this missing piece, it was the man himself who said in my favorite of his quotes "We must begin to love in order not to fall ill and we are bound to fall ill in frustration that we are unable to love" . Will Smith however said on the subject "When I turned 28, everything clicked. I even got way better in bed."


I warned people of a theme....

Welcome Gaff fans and newcomers to Gaff

I have a blog ho ho ho.

Reference there to the hit 'flick' Die Hard there. Oh yes.

So how is everyone? Currently I have a week to go before handing in my thesis so obviously at the moment I am trying everything to avoid doing actual work. I'm not sure why this always happens its just how my, and most other people I know, brains are wired. So while I start this, the latest endeavor of time wasting, I have to wonder what new ways will come my way that allows me to waste time and avoid work. Perhaps I'll take up chess, speed boat racing, homosexuality or wild game hunting all of which would take up time and be a bloody good laugh I bet.

Anyway I'm Gaff, which I'm sure anyone who is that bored or just a fan of bad grammar and is actually reading this will already know. Hopefully this will become a habit of mine where I can use it to document my feelings and thoughts to probably very few people.

Anyway as American History X taught us always finish on a quote, this being the first blog and therefor a time for celebration, I shall end with two.

The recently deceased science fiction genius Arthur C. Clarke* once said "If we have learned one thing from the history of invention and discovery, it is that, in the long run — and often in the short one — the most daring prophecies seem laughably conservative" while Ronan Keating once said "I've signed breasts and bums. I've signed everything!".


Good night.


* Yes, I have read a book.